shyness

No recipe today! If you were hoping for one, I apologize. I’ve got some random thoughts instead. I hope you don’t mind!

———-

I’ve read a couple times now on a blog that the writer thinks shyness is useless and ridiculous. This got me a little heated and made me think about my own situation.

I wrote a post about my personality type a while back. The first characteristic was ‘introvert’. I didn’t choose to be one but I actually like the way I am. Thank you very much!

That was the only rant, don’t worry.

Now I’m not a mute without friends or something but I do have trouble in social situations with new people, get sweaty palms like my Dad, and according to the Starbucks near our house, I (and my husband) speak too quietly because they almost always get our order wrong! I even speak up on purpose when we’re out because I know people will have trouble hearing me. Ha.

This past week a couple thoughts have been running through my mind on the subject. I can’t seem to get a cohesive post together but my fingers want to keep typing so here are my tidbits:

  • When I was younger, I had a much more difficult time with this stuff but nowadays I’m used to it. I know how I’ll react to any social situation. I attempt counteract my shyness and break out of my shell quicker. Living more in the present and being aware, I’d say.
  • During my main ‘growing up’ years I lived in Puerto Rico. When you greeted a friend or even met someone for the first time, you often air-kissed them on the cheek. I personally found that this helped break the ice -> ‘Well I’ve already kissed you on the cheek, let’s be best friends!’. It worked pretty well for me! I moved back to Florida three years later and someone attempted to shake my hand. What in the? No friendly kiss? I gave them a floppy, wimpy hand. I don’t even think I shook it! I was lost in my own country’s customs. After my technique was made fun of by some random lady, I finally got my act together and shook with confidence. My Puerto Rican brain still thinks shaking hands = awkward. This doesn’t help in social situations!
  • Blogging is awesome because I don’t have to be shy!! Well I was nervous about writing this post but what the hay. You’re still reading it so that’s good!
  • I’ve read somewhere that many writers are introverts. They often hate the book signings because they have to interact with people. Pretty interesting.
  • I’m part Norwegian, introversion is in my blood. ‘At first, you may think they are acting as if they have no more room forΒ  for friendship, but once they feel comfortable with you (and often this happens quickly), you will get to know them better and strong ties of friendship will develop.’ (source) So pretty much, I may appear lifeless at first when someone meets me but that’s because I’m shy and not because I’m a cold, hard… well, ya know. πŸ˜‰

Does anyone else out there have similar traits or even just thoughts on the subject? I don’t read about this issue online much so I thought it’d be interesting to see what comes of it.

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20 comments on “shyness

  1. Brittany says:

    Love this post! I love the blog world for the same reasons! I think sometimes you can understand your feeling when you write them down. It’s easier and cathartic. Brave post!

  2. I actually used to be SUPER Shy. Like so so so quiet. Until I was like 16… and then something just switched and now it’s like I’ve never met a stranger!

    Honestly, I’m glad there are such a variety of people. If I was in a room full of people like me, it would be a mad house. My boyfriend is SO quiet. Sometimes you wouldn’t even know he was there πŸ˜‰ but somehow, it all balances out!!

    • Adrienne says:

      That’s crazy! I’ve tried to make that switch but it hasn’t happened, haha. I’m okay with it though.

      It sure is good to have that balance!

  3. amanda says:

    Sounds like you are being honest about your personality, aware of how it may effect how you perceived by others in social situations, and taking steps to alleviate them. What more could anyone ask – from themselves or others? Keep up the great work (and keep sharing the tips because your big sister can use them too)!

  4. I not only like but love this post. I recently picked up Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking. It’s amazing. And so are you. A wonderful post here. Thank you.

  5. elisariva says:

    First – you are who you are! Shy, outgoing, middle of the road – there has to be a variety. Second, I have been researching and introvert/extrovert actually has more to do with how one “recharges”. I am very outgoing. Talkative, bubbly, meeting people, public speaking – not a problem. But when it comes to my time – give me a book, hammock, tranquility. Some people prefer to talk on the phone, be with many family members in a room and they are revitalized. The thought exhausts me. Discovering I may be an introvert after all was surprising. Anything is possible. Finally – there is a difference between quiet and shy or lack of confidence. The latter can be over come, the former is just who you are. And that is awesome.

    • Adrienne says:

      I love that you commented at 5:02 am. Such dedication to your training!! πŸ™‚

      That’s super interesting. I also like quiet time by myself to recharge. That must be why it’s so hard for me to get out and hang out all the time. After a tough, long day, I just want peace!

  6. amanda says:

    I like what Gina’s Profession for PEACE and elisariva even better and I agree! xo

  7. Micha says:

    Introvert here! I was so shy and quiet growing up. I’ve come out of my shell and when needed I can speak up, but I still feel very awkward when I’m in a group. I love my peace and quiet! I don’t like talking on the phone or making small talk, and some people perceive that as rude, but it’s just who I am. I’d rather a friend come and sit and talk with me (or email, haha) one on one and we can discuss anything. It’s just who I am and that’s okay. πŸ™‚

  8. fostrickson says:

    I am an introvert extraordinaire. I enjoy my time alone (with my dogs and cat around), so I work from home. I think if you’re happy, and you’re not causing anything or anyone pain, be yourself and screw everyone else. lol.

  9. angelika says:

    I am also an introvert and sometimes people think I’m “snobby” in new situations. But I don’t mean to be…I just get an anxiety attack at the thought of meeting new people in social situations. The ironic thing is that I don’t get nervous in new “business” situations at all… weird.

    • Adrienne says:

      It’s kinda nice to know that people perceive us that way. Now when I meet someone who I think might not be nice, more than likely they’re just shy also! That IS weird. Well I do find it more awkward to meet potential friends then just coworkers.

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